Maybe laughter is the best medicine for today, or maybe a little groaning after reading some of these—the Lighter Side of Casino Gambling – straight ahead.
REMEMBER THIS ONE?
“What’ll you have, Norm?”
Norm: “Well, I’m in a gambling mood, so I’ll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.”
“Looks like beer, Norm.”
Norm: “Call me Mister Lucky.”Cheers
Want to know how to make a small fortune from gambling?……. Start with a large fortune!
Slots of Fun
Horse Racing – THE LIGHTER SIDE OF CASINO GAMBLING
The nuns at a small convent were happy to learn that an anonymous donor had left his modest estate to them. In addition, each nun had been left $50 in cash to give away as she saw fit.
Sister Catherine Ann gave her share to the first poor person she saw – a man across the street who had known better days. Immediately, she walked toward the man sent by Heaven to receive her offering. She pressed the $50 into the man’s hands and said, “Godspeed, my good man.”
As she left, the man called, “What is your name?” Shyly, she replied, “Sister Catherine Ann.”
The following evening, the man returned and asked to see Sister Catherine Ann.
The nun at the door answered, “I’m sorry, she’s in the chapel. May I give her a message?”
“Yes,” said the man gleefully. “Give her this $100 and tell her Godspeed came in second at the track!”
“Horse sense is a good judgement which keeps horses from betting on people.” – W.C. Fields
The Lottery – The Lighter Side of Casino Gambling
John: Did you hear about the new Mega-ball State Lottery for 10 million dollars??
Jen: Nope, sounds great.
John: Not really; the winning person gets 10 dollars a year for a million years!
Definition of a Lottery – A tax on people who are bad at math.
Table Games – THE LIGHTER SIDE OF CASINO GAMBLING
What did the origami bird say at the poker table? “I guess I fold again!”
Last night I got thrown out of the casino. I completely misunderstood the crap table.
What’s the difference between a pizza and a poker player? – Pizza can feed a family of three.
What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover? – A rash of good luck
I was in Vegas last week, and a guy was standing in front of the Binion’s Horseshoe, and he appeared to be panhandling. Walking by him, he says to me, “Sir, my wife has died. I need money to bury her. Can you help me out?” I answered him, “Why should I give you money. You’re just going to take it and go gambling!” He looks at me and says, ” You got it all wrong; I’ve got gambling money!”
That’s all for now.