Wicked Funny Truths if You Live in New England

Alright, time to laugh at ourselves a bit. But, of course, those who live in New England have a different take on certain things. So, let’s have some fun. Here are Wicked Funny Truths if You Live in New England. As Jeff Foxworthy says, “if you can relate to these New England jokes, you probably are one.”

Here is a related post – Jeff Foxworthy’s Quotes and Sayings

Jeff Foxworthy on New England

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in New England.

If you’re proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Mt. Washington is the coldest spot in the nation, and Boston gets more snow than any other major city in the US, you might live in New England.

You might live in New England…

• If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you might live in New England.
• If someone in a Home Depot store assists you and doesn’t work there, you might live in New England.
• Your dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead; you might live in New England.
• When your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you might live in New England.

• If you have worn shorts and a parka simultaneously, you might live in New England.
• When your town has more bars than churches, you might live in New England.
• If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you might live in New England.

YOU KNOW YOU MIGHT BE FROM NEW ENGLANDER WHEN:

• Vacation means going South past New York City for the weekend.
• You measure distance in hours.

• You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
• We often switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day and back again.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE NEW ENGLANDER WHEN:

• You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow without flinching during a raging blizzard.
• People wear camouflage at social events (including weddings).
• You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
• You carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.

NEW ENGLAND MAY BE YOUR HOME WHEN

• You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

• Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
• You know, all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.
• Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE NEW ENGLANDER WHEN:

• You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
• Down South to you means Philadelphia.
• Brat is something you eat.
• Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.

• You go out for a fish fry every Friday.
• You’re 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
• Your snowblower has more miles on it than your car.

Sad – but true!!!

Related Humor Post – The lighter Side of Casino Gambling

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