Advice From the OBLIVIOUS Gambler – The Snarky, Sarcastic Version.

VERY IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER – Advice From the OBLIVIOUS Gambler is a snarky, sarcastic parody concerning the rationalizing of habits by ignorant recreational gamblers. It’s BASICALLY MEANT FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT AND MY THERAPEUTIC RANTING.

Gamblers around me at the casino drive me crazy. This post includes snarky, sarcastic Advice From the OBLIVIOUS Gambler. At these times, I become a “cup-half-empty” kind of guy.The Dark Side rises and I just want choke them like Darth Vadar so they will stop talking.

The things  I hear at the casino really “crushes my quads!”  (Taking deep breath………) . Ok, i’m better now.

Recreational gamblers are often uninformed. Subsequently, better gambling strategies and advantage gambling tactics are not part of their gambling repertoire. As my mother-in-law used to say, “Whatever floats your boat.”

However, I can’t tell a lie. When I hear players spout off their lack of understanding, mired in their myths, it really “agitates my aces.”  (Taking another deep breath, uttering the mantra “embrace the math, not the myth; embrace the math……)

BACK TO Advice From the OBLIVIOUS Gambler

This post was inspired by Ryan Craggs who wrote an article for Yahoo Travel called “The 30 Worst Decisions You Can Make in a Casino.”

So, if  you care about playing longer, and  losing less you already understand the sarcasm.  For the most part, if  you want to give yourself the best chance at winning, then this article is for entertainment means only.  For me, it is more therapeutic.


What if you make those decisions because it doesn’t matter to you.  Not in a negative way, the reading and practice involved takes the fun out of it for you. Consequently, tier status or if you have a host isn’t enough of a concern. And Freebies? – they’re nice, but maybe you’re content with $10 free slot play. Maybe it’s all about socializing with your friends – going clubbing and paying $10 for a Bud Light.

So, here is my variation on Ryan Craggs article.  By the way, I mean no disrespect to his post.  Please read Ryan’s article and all those other articles about what not to do when you’re at the casino.

Advice From the OBLIVIOUS Gambler – The Snarky, Sarcastic Version.


Yes, remember anyone can just walk into a casino and win! Never mind that casino “house edge” that so many people talk about.  Some one’s got to win, and you have as good a chance as the next guy to have blind luck hit in your favor. Besides, I have a friend who’s cousin’s aunt’s nephew never loses in this casino.  NEVAH!  And he doesn’t even know how to (24)

THERE IS NO NEED TO TIP MY WAITRESS or DEALER. I work just as hard as they do!

I’m entitled to free drinks when I gamble.  That’s $1 more for my quarter Video Keno game. Hey, they get paid by the casino. I need to keep all my winnings.

KNOWING WHEN TO PLAY MAX BET at slots Isn’t  IMPORTANT.  Slots are all programmed anyway

I never play MAX BET. Getting that progressive jackpots is basically your time or not your time.  MAX BET is just their way of getting your money quicker. Besides, I just like the symbols on this slot. It’s entertainment, and it’s in a section that I can get free drinks easier. (See previous suggestion)th (25)

I don’t care if it’s 6:5, 5:6 or 867-5309 BACKJACK3:2, 6:5, what does it matter?  

Supposedly, I lose $3 on each blackjack, and increases the casino’s edge. Who cares, it’s about the camaraderie, the fun, the drinks, and the social atmosphere of beating the house……right? I play 6:5 BJ because it “really doesn’t matter.”

(NETG aside – WHILE ON THE TOPIC OF BLACKJACK…. NOT HITTING ON 16 (two 8’s) vs. DEALER’S 10, SPLITTING 10’s, and TAKING INSURANCE – you don’t really care about losing? How about giving the house even more edge. If the table is “hot,” bet on your gut-wrenched hunch. Remember it’s all about the camaraderie, the fun, the drinks, and the social atmosphere of beating the house……right?)

Playing with house money? I thought it was the Players?


When I hit once, or twice on whatever game i’m playing, I’m in a ZONE – I need to keep playing.  (NETG – Just a word of caution from Mr. Craggs, “There are roughly over 1,500 casinos in the U.S. alone. They’re proven moneymakers. Sure, you can win money, but if you play long enough, you won’t.”)  Hey, if I in the ZONE, and I’m ahead, I’m playing with the casino’s money.  It’s like I’m playing for free – play on!

Casino Redemtion / ATM machineI g0 TO THE ATM FOR MORE MONEY, after my bankroll is gone.  I can get those losses back, no problem.

Sure, I know about that house advantage, but this losing streak can’t possibly continue. I’m due. Need more money.  I’ll get it back.


The other day I heard that “some slots pay better if you play two credits, not three” and “that some video poker machines don’t pay out for anyone.  If it’s cold, don’t play it.” By the way,”don’t double down here, this casino has the cards rigged. That’s how they make their money.  You, too, can be helpful (NETG – and intensely disliked) by giving information like this.


That slot machine is about to hit. You know they go in cycles. Those cycles are programmed to pay out. I saw the same thing happen to that same machine yesterday.the guy playing it left and the next lady hit the jackpot after three pulls. So, you stay so that NOBODY gets YOUR JACKPOT!th (26)


It’s just Big Brother watching me.  You know darn well the casino connects you to all sorts of inter-web stuff.  Better to be anonymous, (NETG – so they can’t give you comps, points for dining, tickets for concerts and special gambling offers – you know, things you’ll feel guilty about later.) Besides, if they know I’m winning, they will change the payout on the machine while I’m playing.



That’s all for now.


Reality Checks For Recreational Gamblers

Another losing gambling session?

“Three Reality Checks For Recreational Gamblers” is what happens when i read a self-help book and apply it to recreational gambling. “Why Your Life Sucks” by Alan H Cohen points out many life “wake-up calls” to help enjoy life. It’s funny, informative and helps you re-evaluate the choices you have made. In addition, this book can aid in making better choices in the future.

After reading it, I felt it could help recreational gamblers. I thought to myself, “how many people leave the casino grumpy, as if losing is a huge surprise.”  Subsequently, here are Three Reality Checks For Recreational Gamblers.

Leaving Las Vegas - usually a quiet plane ride.

Leaving Las Vegas is usually a quiet plane ride.

So, does your gambling suck?  Do you know why?  Maybe it’s because you don’t embrace the realities of the gambling industry. It’s time to look at your casino trips differently with the following three suggestions that will enhance your experience.

Three Reality Checks For Recreational Gamblers

1) “Fortune isn’t something that happens to you, it is something you create”

“You can’t win if you don’t play.” Many recreational gamblers think each visit entitles them to a winning session. Maybe, just maybe, you could win the big one to change your life forever. As a result, many times we leave the casino disappointed, unhappy or even angry at the casino. Generally, there are things you can do that will enhance your visits. As a rule,  know the best strategy for the games you play, as well as taking advantage of free play and multiplier reward points / tier points days increases the “fun” value with potential  longer & more profitable sessions. However, the most important advice to limit your session’s “suckiness” is don’t overplay your bankroll to gain higher status. Keep to your bankroll.

Cousin Vito’s Podcast always ends with a quote from Vito’s “friend” Roman Statesman Seneca.

So true. Thanks for the quote, Vito!

Accept losses, don’t chase them

2) “Don’t get involved in the dark side” of gaming.Losing at Gambling?

The gambling industry is a business and like any other business, it’s intends to make money.  As a result, don’t feel entitled to win.  The house edge is a reality to insure the industry’s success. So don’t expect perks that you don’t earn and don’t expect the casino to insure your winning because you’re a good customer. Expect loses and accept the cyclic patterns of winning and losing.

And stop thinking conspiracy and fixed machines. Look up what a random number generator does (RNG). The house advantage, remember, is built in without switching machine computer chips or throwing that famous “switch upstairs” that immediately changes machines from loose to tight. Be knowledgeable about the industry instead of continuing myths and superstitions to make yourself the poor victim.

Related Post – Recreational Gambling and Acceptance

“Yes, your thoughts betray you.” – Darth Vadar, Return of the Jedi

3) “It’s not what happens to you during your visit , it’s your viewpoint of what happens that’s counts”

“Search your feelings, you know it to be true.” This Star Wars quote is heard throughout the series. Remember this one, “Your feelings betray you.” That may be true with your feelings at the end of your session. You have a choice in how you assess your gambling success, and how you react to it.  You can choose either to enjoy and learn in a positive manner or bitch and complain, making yourself miserable as well as those around you you. Therefore, enjoy the wins as well as those casino employees who know the meaning of friendly, good service. By the way, enjoy the excitement of breaking even – yes even. By breaking even, you’ve beaten the house advantage. If you play for a few hours and break even, be happy for the free entertainment, the rewards points you’ve accumulated, and the free beverages you’ve consumed.

Embrace the math, not the Myth.

Now, back to the casino. But this time, don’t let your feelings betray you. Go with the flow. That’s all for now.


Casino Industry Rewards, ADT and ITV

Casino Industry Rewards, ADT and ITV should all go hand in hand. Loyalty Programs needs more than just ADT to decide players comps. ADT, or Average Daily Theoretical, is what drives the casino industry comp system. ADT measures your worth to the casino. With local casinos so close to so many Americans, gambling has never been more popular. But the loyalty system based on ADT needs something more  – it needs ITV.  We know about casinos and your ADT, but what’s ITV you ask? Read on….

Related Post – Casino Comps and “Average Daily Theoretical”

TravelZork’s Michael Trager recently wrote an article “Why Vegas Casino Loyalty Is Broken.” It looked at what is happening in Las Vegas with casino rewards and casino fees. And previously, in his TwitPic of the Week Monologue (360 Vegas Podcast Episode #282) Mark Wojtowic referred to it as well. Both inspired me.  So, I ask you, “what is the casino industry missing in offering a better recreational gambling experience?”

What motivates our recreational Gambling experience?


Intrinsic motivation refers to behavior that is driven by internal rewards. It’s something that arises within the individual because the behavior is naturally satisfying. This contrasts with extrinsic motivation, which involves a behavior to earn external rewards.

ADT is built on extrinsic rewards – comped dining, entertainment and free slot play. The physical casino also offers extrinsic motivation. Sounds, chair comfort, colors and casino design all aid to offer some form of endorphin release. Even the scent of casino air is sometimes artificially enhanced for the gambler’s benefit.

Recreational gambling offers lots of extrinsic rewards. But the gaming industry has forgotten, or chose to disregard, the most important part. The chance of winning and the time spent in the chase is more important than all of that.  In other words, the intrinsic incentive of fun in recreational gambling is ceasing to be a factor.

Average Daily Theoretical and Intrinsic Motivation

Average Daily Theoretical is your value to the casino. The math to determine your ADT is based on the above.

ADT (Average Daily Theoretical) is how the casino measures your worth. It considers how much you play, the denomination of your play, and the length of time you play in a day. I suggest it’s time we, the casino guest, measure the casino’s worth by developing a new measurement called IVT (Intrinsic Theoretical Value). It would be a measure of bankroll length, gaming rules, rewards club comparisons and winnings.

Seriously, an ITV sounds crazy, but, it could work. The player would log the following when gambling:

  • comparing length of bankroll,
  • gaming rules
  • awarded comps  “over time”
  • and maybe an ambiance/fun quotient

We then would compare casino value in a vaguely measurable way. Think how cool it would be to visit a casino on the basis of their “ITV.”  Casino Industry Rewards, ADT and ITV – are they a future consideration?

Lower slots odds, 6:5 Blackjack, automatic shuffle machines, less odds at the Craps table, and unplayable video poker, have damaged our intrinsic motivation. Give the player less “bells and whistles.” Increase the hope of winning and the length of time our bankroll lasts. The ever-present greed in the gambling industry is causing a feeling  of “why bother?” This is your recreational gambling ITV taking a hit.

las Vegas data misunderstood?

Las Vegas

Resort Fees, Low Gambling Value Increses in Las Vegas & the rest of the U.S.

In Las Vegas, gambling CEO’s seem puzzled by the dip in gambling revenue. But most months have a higher visitor stat. One main reason is that the total gambling bankroll is shackled. Parking fees, resort fees, CSN fees, higher food and drink prices, and less player comps are all the culprits. Add a bigger house edge with game rules and pay out percentages like 6:5 BJ and 7/5 video poker and “why bother?” That response is an internal feeling of hopelessness in the experience of gambling, a decreased ITV.

Casino Rewards Clubs are also squeezing the fun out of the experience.  Cut backs in comps and rewards, such as in CET’s Total Rewards and Boyd’s B Connected, are changing where we gamble. One example is shortened periods for accruing rewards points . Another is the tightening of casino rewards programs, making it harder to rise in tier level.


IVT will increase with greater hospitality, gambling options, and less “nickel & dining.” CEO’s wouldn’t need to be looking for skill-based games, stadium gaming and sports betting as THE panacea for their misappropriated understanding of getting guests of all ages through the doors.

It’s really so simple. I feel good when my gambling experience lasts longer and is potentially better financially. I will visit more, stay longer, and take in more amenities at the casino property inner motivation has been met.