Slot Machine Humor or Slot Machine Truth?

Row of one armed bandit slot machines in casino brightly lit

Row of one armed bandit slot machines in casino brightly lit

I recently read a great article for slots player entitled “The Sixty Most Important Things I’ve Learned About Playing Slot Machines” by Terry Murphy, aka VP Pappy.  Murphy wrote this article over 10 years ago and had some great observations for slot players.  Look it up – great stuff.

slot machineBut one thing he incorporated in the article were some quotes about slots & slots players. Here are some from the article and a few others for laughs and giggles – some are funny, all are true!

“Blessed be the slot players for theirs is the hope of a better day dawning.”
–Frank Scoblete

“The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.”
–Wilson Mizner

“If it wasn’t for all the money I keep losing, this gambling thing could be a lot of fun.”
–Terry Murphy

Image - Money“Psychologically, the one element of the game that keeps the slot devotee tied to the machine is the possibility, no matter how remote, of hitting the jackpot. The promise of the monster, life affirming win, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, the philosopher’s stone that can cure all their ills, pay off all their debts, and smooth the path of life forever, and ever, and ever.”
–Gambling For Dummies (the book)

“Never get between a serious slot player and his or her machine. Slot players are much like the mother bear with her cub I once met mountain biking.”
–Mark Pilarski

“Slot stuffers, by the large, don’t want to be flustered by anything as philosophical as facts.”
–Alan Krigman

Royal Flush“Your best chance to get a Royal Flush in a casino is in the bathroom.”
–VP Pappy

“I can understand why players are scared of the new high-tech slot machines. Hell, I’m still scared of the old ones.”
–Terry Murphy

” Grandma, you don’t have to cash out,” I told her.


“The credits will build up as long as you play, and you can play off those credits if you like.” She smiled, almost guiltily then answered: “I like the sound.”
–Anthony Curtis

“They sit there, all bright and shiny, with their left arm pointed to heaven, of all places, pleading with you to fill their stomachs with your silver dollars, quarters, anything.”
–John Patrick

“A drunken monkey can be as successful at slots as a sober Einstein.”
–Bob Dancer

“It’s really stupid and embarrassing to keep pleading with a slot machine as if it were alive and could actually hear me. I’d stop doing it but I’m afraid I’ll make it angry and it won’t give me a win.”
–Terry Murphy

“Question: “What’s your favorite game?”
“The new slot machine with monkeys and bananas that goes bloop, bloop, bloop!”
–Wendy Liebman (comedian)

“It is not uncommon to see a lady in her bridal gown, married moments ago by a minister in full Elvis regalia, furiously working the slots with a Marlboro clenched between her teeth.”
–Rob Wiser

“Slots have no memory. They are a mindless collection of metal, silicon and plastic. They don’t know whether they have hit a jackpot on the previous play or haven’t paid off since Reagan was in the White House.”
–Lou Krieger & Arthur Reber

That’s all for now.



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