Casino Gamblers around me sometimes drive me crazy. This post was written a few years ago. It’s snarky, sarcastic, and a compilation of bad, unsolicited advice. 9 Tips To Ignore From the Oblivious Gambler pokes fun at the ridiculous interaction we sometimes have with other casino guests. There are three reasons for this post:
- YOUR ENTERTAINMENT
- TO RAISE AWARENESS, AND
- MY OWN THERAPEUTIC NEEDS.
Anything in (blue) is a good explanation or good advice. If you believe any of the 9 Tips To Ignore From the Oblivious Gambler, please seek a self-help book on gambling.
9 Tips of Advice To Ignore From the Oblivious Gambler
1. FEELING LUCKY? PUNK? I Always Win Here!
OG: Remember, anyone can walk into a casino and win! Never mind that casino “house edge” thing that so many people talk about. Someone’s got to win. Besides, I have a friend, who’s cousin’s aunt’s nephew, always wins in this casino. NEVAH! And he doesn’t even know how to play.
(The casino is not made up of absolutes such as this. One absolute you can bet on – the House Edge)
2. THERE IS NO NEED TO TIP STAFF or DEALERS.
OG: I’m entitled to free drinks when I gamble. That’s $1 more for my quarter Video Keno game. Hey, they get paid by the casino. I need to keep all my winnings. (Truth be told, wait staff, dealers, etc., make a living off those tips)
3. PLAY MAX BET at slots Whenever You Feel Like It
OG: I never play MAX BET. Slots are all programmed anyway. Getting that progressive jackpot is basically because it’s your time or not. MAX BET is just their way of getting your money quicker. Besides, I like the symbols on this slot. It’s entertainment, and it’s in a section that I can get free drinks easier. (See previous scrap) When my card is in, and I play Max, they make the machine tighter. (OMG, I am so tired of hearing how they can make slots tighter or looser like throwing a light switch. See the following Related Post – Slot and Video Poker Jackpots – There is No Man Behind the Curtain)
4. I don’t care if BACKJACK is 6:5, 3:2, or 867-5309, I Just Like Playing!
OG: 3:2, 6:5, what does it matter? Supposedly, with 6:5 blackjack, I lose $3 on each blackjack and increase the casino’s edge. Who cares? It’s about the camaraderie, the fun, the drinks, and the social atmosphere of beating the house…right? I’ll play 6:5 BJ because it “really doesn’t matter.”
(NETG aside – WHILE ON THE TOPIC OF BLACKJACK… NOT HITTING ON 16 (two 8’s) vs. DEALER’S 10, SPLITTING 10’s, and TAKING INSURANCE – all gives the house even more edge. Play informed with a good basic strategy.
5. IF I’M UP, I’LL CONTINUE TO PLAY ON THE “HOUSE MONEY“
OG: “Whatever game I play, I get in a ZONE. So, I need to keep playing. Hey, if I’m in the ZONE, and I’m ahead, I’m playing with the casino’s money. It’s like I’m playing for free – play on! ( I’ve got news for you – Playing with house money? no, once you win it, it’s YOUR money! )
6. I GO ALWAYS GO TO THE ATM If My Bankroll Runs Out. I can get those losses back, no problem.
OG: Sure, I know about that house advantage, but this losing streak can’t possibly continue. I’m due. Need more money. I’ll get it back. (Don’t chases your loses!)
7. I love to give Advice Based on My Personal Experience
OG: Some slots pay better if you play two credits, not three.” Also, some video poker machines don’t pay out for anyone. If it’s cold, don’t play it. By the way, don’t play table games here. This casino has the cards rigged. That’s how they make their money. Oh, you’re welcome. I like to help other players who don’t have the secret info I know. (NETG – This OG can easily be intensely disliked)
8. You should STAY AT that SLOT BECAUSE “IT’S DUE.“
OG: That slot machine is about to hit. You know they go in cycles. Those cycles are programmed to pay out. I saw the same thing happen to that same machine yesterday. The guy playing it left, and the next lady hit the jackpot after three pulls. So, stay there so that NOBODY gets YOUR JACKPOT! (Nothing is EVER DUE!!!! The RNG, the rules at table games, and all bets are not part of a continuous event – they are all independent events.)
9. I’m NOT PLAYING WITH A REWARDS CARD. It’s just Big Brother watching me.
OG: You know darn well the casino connects you to all sorts of inter-web stuff. Better to be anonymous. Besides, if they know I’m winning, they will change the payout on the machine while I’m playing. (NETG – so they can’t give you comps, points for dining, tickets for concerts and special gambling offers – you know, things you’ll feel guilty about later.)
I REPEAT my VERY IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER – THIS POST IS RIFE WITH SARCASM & UNTRUTHS. It’s BASICALLY MEANT Your ENTERTAINMENT and my ranting only. THE TRUTH ABOUT MONEY MANAGEMENT, RANDOM NUMBER GENERATORS IN SLOT MACHINES AND GAME STRATEGY have BEEN COMPLETELY IGNORED.
Related Post – Recreational Gambling | A Fun Way to Spend Money
That’s all for now.